WE'RE MOVING!!!

 This is the floorplan for our first home together! We are super excited to experience married life in our own place. We were out apartment shopping with my parents last week when we stumbled upon this apartment complex. It is a wonderful location! We are within walking distance of a Walmart and only a 2 minute drive from Target, Kohls, Dick's Sporting Goods, Steak N Shake, Sonic, Chick Fil A and much more. And my personal favorite - Waffle House is practically in our backyard. Our actual apartment backs up to a wooded area with a creek. It has pretty much everything we were looking for and met our budget needs. Josh is beginning to sand and paint the furniture that will be moving with us. The baby's nursery will be complete as soon as I we get the keys! We are definitely seeing God's faithfulness and the benefit in trusting His timing and plan. We move in the weekend of May 1st, which leaves me plenty of time to nest before our sweet baby girl arrives. We will surely update the blog with pictures once we are all moved in!

Heavy Hearts...

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name

No more sorrow, no more pain

I will rise on eagles' wings

Before my God fall on my knees

And rise

I will rise


There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

Every time I hear this song I am met with tears as I think about the Lord calling Tate and Liam by name to Him, 11 months ago today. Josh and I believe without a shadow of a doubt that in that moment when the boys breathed their last breath their tired tiny bodies felt no more pain as they were in the presence of the Lord. Josh and I continue to cling to the promise that we will someday meet our precious sons in heaven. Job 1:21b "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised."
Tonight, we write this blog with a heavy heart for a couple that lost a precious baby girl yesterday. I am met with strong emotions as I think about the loss of that mother and father and the days they face ahead. So I ask that if you are reading this that you pray specifically for Rachel and the loss she is experiencing as a mother. Also for her husband- that the Lord would comfort and reveal Himself in a new and real way as he continues to be the head of this family during this tragic season.
As I sat down to write this blog I was overcome with emotion and I began reading the Bible. In the 39th Psalm David writes "But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you." In the days following the boys death and even now as I approach 23 weeks with Baby Girl Mathews I find myself needing only to hope in the Lord. Only He is the giver of life and only He knows the plans for tomorrow. (However, do not let me fool you- often it takes Josh reminding me to hope in the Lord.)
Lastly is a verse that I have claimed as a promise.
Psalm 126 verse 5 says "Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy." Josh and I are seeing that the Lord has turned our tears and prayer into joy with the life of this precious baby girl growing in me, it is my prayer that in time Rachel and her husband may experience this as well. Thank you so much for your prayers, they are invaluable.

Monday...

Monday... I woke up to find that I had a surprise day off of work. Due to severe weather in the area schools were on a 2 hour delay which cancels the part time preschool program of which I am an assistant teacher. So Josh and I attempted to go back to sleep until the phone rang with the results of Josh's MRI. Now let me back up and tell you what's been going on that brought us to the MRI... On the 12th of January Josh was at a local grocery store stocking the shelves with Vitamin Water when he made a wrong move and back pain nearly sent him to his knees. He finished out his day and came home, where we iced his back and medicated him with Ibuprofen until he went to bed. Fast forward through his sleepless night and at 4am he got up to head to his Sunday morning meeting. He was determined not to call in, but instead give it a go before he mentioned to his supervisor what was going on. He made it through the meeting and headed off to his first store. He almost immediately had to call a supervisor because his pain was so intense. He then headed to the ER to meet his supervisor. They did a drug test (to make sure you were not using any kind of substance at the time of injury), xray and a few other tests to make sure his nerves were intact.
              *Small sidenote- Josh learned a valuable marriage lesson this day. He waited to inform me that he was at the hospital until 11 o clock and being pregnant and naturally emotional I fell apart. So the lesson is if you go to the hospital even for a stubbed toe- you MUST immediately inform your wife! ha!
The doctor in the emergency room determined it was a severe muscle strain. They prescribed medicine and referred him to the worker's comp physician the next day. Over the past two weeks he has been on major work restrictions causing him to have to work a different position on 2nd shift. To rule out any kind of injury to the bone they did an MRI. It came back negative, only showing the stress fracture also known as Pars Defect that occurred years ago during a football injury in high school. The doctor felt like with physical therapy, proper body mechanics on the job and correcting his poor posture that he could cautiously head back to work as a merchandiser next week. We have been very blessed by Josh's job at Coca Cola and the stable income and benefits that come with it. We ask for your prayers as he continues to heal and hopefully heads back to merchandising. He has done a wonderful job as a merchandiser and his supervisors have been impressed with his organizational skills and efficiency. I am soooo proud of him! I am truly blessed by Josh's love for me and dedication to provide for myself and our baby girl. I love how the Message translation words Ephesians 5:25
"Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting." I am so thankful for Josh and couldn't imagine my life without him!

Busy Weekend

Friday morning I woke up around 3:45am with some stomach pain and back pain. Of course I woke Josh up and we laid in bed watching an episode of The Andy Griffith Show while he tried to convince me that the baby was not trying to come out. By about lunch time I was still feeling anxious because my back pain continued and I started feeling more pressure in my lowerr abdomen. My mom recommended I call the dr and they quickly got back to me with the recommendation that I head to the hospital. So as anyone who knows me can imagine, I walked into the hospital determined not to cry but upon being told to head up to labor and delivery I promptly fell apart. The nurses in L & D triage were truly a blessing that afternoon... they completely understood my fears and ushered me straight into a room. They quickly hooked me to a monitor to monitor for contractions... GOOD SIGN #1- no contractions! They called my primary care OB and she ordered an internal ultrasound to measure my cervical length. (At this point Josh is becoming well versed in OB vocabulary and norms as well as now having a practice run (#1) for when the baby comes.) So... we got in the ultrasound room and they checked my cervical length and it was 4.1-4.2, which is great! What we did discover is that in a few short hours our little girl completely rotated around (to a standing position) and rolled to the other side. My back pain was from pressure on my bladder where her foot was stomping on me. Let the record be set that I am not complaining about the absolutely normal pregnancy pain, I was merely alarmed at what I was feeling. Here's a little pic from our visit...

A little sidenote- for those of you reading who attend FBC Ellisville, my nurse in the L&D resembled Debbie Mace... even her voice sounded like her. So as we left and she hugged me goodbye we explained to her that it was like seeing a familiar face. Her name was Becky and she said to request her when we returned, Josh's response, "Ok, well we'll see you in a couple weeks."

On Saturday Clark, Lyric, Josh and I packed up and headed to Cincinnati to "look at the Fishies!" We visited the Newport Aquarium for something different to do on a Saturday. Here are a few pictures from our day...



Progesterone Shot: Take 1

Today was my first shot of progesterone at home... and may I just say that for absolutely no experience Josh was quite an expert. The shot goes in my hip and we rotate left to right each week. Josh was slightly nervous but he puntured the skin quickly, injected slowly and removed the needle carefully. He may as well have his certificate of nursing, he was THAT good. Because of my extreme fear of needles I thought for sure we'd have a few good stories over the next few months but it seems like Josh has mastered the task at hand. I am so grateful for his desire to take such good care of me. Lately, there isn't many nights that I don't go to bed without some nervous tears but I am comforted by Josh laying his hand on my belly and praying for me and the the life of our sweet baby girl. I am so blessed that Josh is crazy about me... and already crazy about his little girl. Even as I type this it is still sinking in that baby Mathews is a she, we're going to have a daughter! Please pray over the next few weeks as I have already began to worry as I approach 20+ weeks and the time in which we lost the boys. God has been so faithful and I am working to continue trusting in His perfect plan for this baby... Josh is a lot better at this. We go to the doctor tomorrow but no new pictures until next Wednesday. We look forward to seeing her progress!

Baby Girl Mathews

 

There she is! She is 16 weeks and 4 days in this photo. And every time I look at it and look back at her pictures from week 12 all that comes to mind is Psalm 139: 13-14

"For You formed my inward parts;

You wove me in my mother’s womb.

14I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are Your works,

And my soul knows it very well."

We are so thankful for the gift of this sweet baby girl. She is growing appropriately to her gestational age, weighing in at about 7 oz. She has long little legs, arms and even hands. We are not too surprised because even at 23 weeks her big brothers were 11 inches long and they had what their Daddy calls "monkey arms." The doctor was pleased yesterday with my cervical length as well as the baby's brain, heart and kidneys. Josh was able to go yesterday to the appointment so that he could be instructed on how to administer the progesterone shot I recieve weekly until week 36. The shot helps to sustain pregnancy and keep the uterus from contractracting, thus hopefully preventing early labor. The doctor has had a positive response with this hormone compound and there is no research supporting any adverse effects on the mom or baby. The only- VERY minor side effect is a bruise and soreness at the injection site. It is injected into my hip and it was and still is very sore but completely worth it to keep our sweet girl growing until at least 36 weeks. So... now knowing who I was buying from my mom and I were in Target and Sam's today and HAD to pick up a few things for her. Here's what we found...

and...

and Will wanted to model the last one, but not without making sure Kerry, Chachi and Susie were in the picture.

Lastly, is a little onesie that her Mimi got her to honor the lives of her big brothers Liam and Tate. This little shirt is especially important to me for that reason.

Thank you for reading and for the continued prayers of our sweet baby girl!



14 weeks 4 days

There's our little sasquatch! Everything is still looking great! The doctor was able to visualize all the brain, heart and other vital organs and was very pleased with baby Mathews' development. The question of whether Baby Mathews is a boy or girl will not be answered for another two weeks... no girl parts or boy parts are differentiated yet. One thing I am certain of is that this is one active little person. As you may have noticed the ultra sound is somewhat of a blur because the doctor had to snap fast as the baby was rolling over and over. I am now certain that the fluttering I have been feeling is absolutely my sweet baby! Our next adventure as a married couple will be as Josh learns how to give me progesterone injections weekly in my hip! We should have some interesting stories to share as soon as those begin. If you are reading this I am so grateful for your interest and prayers for our sweet baby.